


A Man's Regret

by DrewMarigold, TheLovelyPatronus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 23:26:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16274546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrewMarigold/pseuds/DrewMarigold, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLovelyPatronus/pseuds/TheLovelyPatronus
Summary: Harry runs, unknown to him, leaving a pregnant Hermione on her own. What happens when fate decides to mess with two thirds of the Golden Trio?





	A Man's Regret

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [HalloweenHarmonyComp2018](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HalloweenHarmonyComp2018) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
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> One night of weakness and need after The Battle for Hogwarts, trying to cope with the loss of so many... including Ron and Ginny. That was all it was supposed to be. Harry got up before the sun rose and disappeared. Hermione soon learns she's pregnant and decides to raise the baby herself after many failed attempts to find Harry. ... until one night a few years later, when similar green eyes meet through a screen door. 
> 
> "Trick or treat!" Exclaims the child, as Hermione once again spies the father of her child.
> 
> __________
> 
> This piece was written for Something Wicked This Way Comes, a Harmony & Co Halloween One-Shot Competition. All canon characters, plots, dialogue, and situations from the Harry Potter series belongs to JK Rowling. I am not profiting from this work. I would also like to thank my beta and/or alpha who will be unveiled at the end of this competition.
> 
> a very special thank you to my wonderful Beta: DrewMarigold, who helped to clean up my mess of grammar and inconsistancies.

For a day that had started out so bleak and full of death, it had ended with a surprisingly bright and cheerful sunset. Some would live to tell the tale of the Dark Lord’s defeat. Others would never raise their wands again. Some would go on to lead full and happy lives, while others were left to replay this horrendous day over and over again.

Standing in the great hall, Hermione felt her throat closing up. The telltale tremor in her hands, and the pounding in her chest, made it clear that she needed to find a safe, quiet place to ride out the coming panic attack. This was all too much -- too much death, too much blood on her hands, too much to process. She turned and ran from the Great Hall. From the sight of bodies piled in a corner like some sick version of human rag dolls -- Ron, Ginny, and Percy Weasley among those bodies. From the injured who were bleeding, moaning, and crying out for relief from the pain. 

She ran until she found a supply closet that had somehow survived the destruction of the once majestic castle. Locking herself in the small space, she crumpled to the floor and let the tears come. She sobbed louder than she ever had before, after all, who'd hear her over the cheers of a war won? She shook and hyperventilated until her vision became spotty. She cried until her tears ran dry and all she could do was hiccup and try to calm her breathing. Never once noticing that there was a pair of arms holding her close., providing safety and comfort where it was sorely lacking.

Harry stood, watching, as the able-bodied worked to heal hundreds of broken bones, bleeding cuts, and tremors caused by exposure to the Cruciatus curse. The survivors were trying so hard to block off the trauma of their own losses that they barely paid attention to what was happening around them. 

His eyes, however, never travelled far from Hermione. The two of them had become so close in the months when Ron had left them. Grown so close, in fact, that Harry could sense every shift in her mood, every idea that sprung into her beautiful mind, every sad memory that had made her face crumple. What choice did they have in those months on the run? When all that they could do was watch each other while going over the same old facts they'd already discussed to death. 

Harry watched as her hands started to shake, as the tears welled up in her beautiful brown eyes, as she turned on her heel and ran from the Great Hall. He followed her, up three flights of stairs, down two long hallways, and finally to the one door that had not been blown off of its hinges. She ran in and slammed the door, never noticing Harry right behind her.

He heard the lock click and knew he had to get in there fast. His whispered  
had the desired effect, as he quietly walked in and sat beside her on the dirty floor. She paid no attention as her body shook and she wailed. Every few minutes she'd say a few words. None of which would make sense to anyone but him. 

“It’s over….should be happy….death….alive….muuuum….” Hermione sobbed and called out for her mother who would never comfort her daughter again. Her wails broke Harry’s heart, knowing there was little he could to to comfort her aside from just being there. 

Her parents had been brutally murdered in their house a day before they were set to leave for Australia. They had died never knowing they had a daughter who would miss them terribly. He vowed, however, that he would do everything in his power to get her through this. She was all he had left and he knew that she would would be catalyst to bring about the rest of his life.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he never heard her stop crying. He didn’t feel her shift in his arms. He had no idea what was happening around him until she pulled his face in for a searing kiss. Suddenly his mind was blank. All rational thought flew away as his bottom lip was sucked into her hot mouth. 

She used her tongue to trace along the lines, coaxing him into participating. He wrapped his left arm around her waist while his right tangled in the soft hairs at the back of her neck. He pulled a little as his hand fisted, eliciting a delicious moan that only served to rouse the animal inside of him. 

Lost in his basest instinct, he didn't stop to think about the fact that he was snogging his very best friend in the world. That this could damage their relationship beyond repair. He didn't stop her when her hands, shaky as ever, moved to his belt and began to divest him of the clothes that were in the way of her true goal. She got him down to his boxers. She didn't stop kissing him, their tongues now working up a fever pitch, as she pulled the zipper of his jumper forcing the double layers off of him so that she could scrape her nails against the soft skin of his chest. 

This time it was Harry’s turn to groan into her mouth as she scratched hard enough to draw blood. Something about this pain, the kind that was more about pleasure than hurt, made him almost lose his last shred of control. For so long, his life had revolved around uncontrollable pain, whether it be physical or emotional it was always there. This was everything he needed. Everything they both needed.

His hands moved to her shirt, tearing it over her head before their lips crashed together again. He moved lower, unbuttoning her jeans and forcing them down along with her knickers. She helped him along the way by stepping out of the crumpled clothes. Harry’s hands moved to cup her naked ass as he hauled her up. Hermione wrapped her legs around Harry's waist, her heat brushing up against his abdomen and causing his erection to twitch against her entrance. 

“I can't take anymore, Harry! I need you.” She moaned into his mouth. It was all too much for him. He gave no thought to the consequences of his actions, he simply turned them so that she was up against the wall and with one smooth thrust, he was buried deep inside of her. 

They called out each others’ names into the enclosed space. Harry had only enough sense to briefly wonder how this happened so fast when she moved in his arms. His brain turned to mush as he started rocking back and forth, stroking her clenched walls from the inside. The motion was intoxicating, bringing about an ever growing fire within them both. 

Hermione felt the smooth stone wall against her back as she was slammed into it over and over again, but it mattered little. All that she cared about was that for one beautiful moment, she was no longer shaking, she wasn’t crying, she wasn’t running for her life. All she was was blissful pleasure. 

The world outside of these four walls did not exist. There was no war, no blood class, no death and that was all she cared about in that moment. Everything else could wait. Most important was the fact that she needed this comfort. All physical, no thought needed. Merlin knew her mind needed the break.

Harry stroked a spot deep inside of her that had never been touched and she saw stars dancing behind her eyelids. He wasn't far behind her, falling off of the edge of a cliff he'd never touched. He was a virgin, and so happy to be giving this part of himself to a women he had loved for as long as he’d known about magic. He exploded inside of her with such force that he had to lean against the wall so that he didn’t collapse to the floor. It had been quick, passionate, and most of all, it had felt absolutely perfect. 

They sank to the floor, sweaty and dazed, when Harry could no longer hold them both up. Still wrapped in each others’ arms, Harry opened his mouth to speak. He wanted to tell her how long he had been craving this moment. That he had been in love with her since second year, when he'd thought he'd lost her to the basilisk. He wanted to lay his soul bare because he was so sick of hiding his feelings for her, but she didn't want to speak right now. She had acted on what she needed rather than what her logical mind told her was right. She had ignored the blaring warnings from her brain, screaming at her that she would regret this, that Harry didn't love her the way she did him, that she was setting herself up for a heartbreak to end all heartbreak. So she did what she could to delay the inevitable: she put her hand over his mouth, and looked him deep in the eyes.

“Not now, Harry.” She whispered, “We have plenty of time to talk. Right now, I just want to sleep.” She laid her head against his shoulder. Still naked, they both dozed off, making up for almost a year of deprived sleep.  
………………….. 

Harry awoke with startled jerk. His brain barely catching up with what he had done with Hermione. He had taken advantage of her without a second thought. He knew that he had taken a piece of her that she could never get back. He had screwed himself. He knew that she had a terrible habit of saving every pathetic creature that came her way. He would not allow her to sacrifice her life because of some twisted idea that she now had feelings for him because he had taken her virginity. He’d essentially raped her. He was no better than Voldemort. He was a monster.

She had been desperate, in need, and having a panic attack. What had he done? He didn’t think about the fact that she probably wasn’t thinking clearly. That she wasn’t acting on her brilliant mind but on her need to be comforted. Instead of being her best friend, he had let his bloody teenage boy hormones lead the way. He was disgusted with himself.

Trying not to wake the sleeping woman next to him, he gathered his clothing, getting dressed as quickly and quietly as possible. He snuck out of the supply closet with only the clothes on his back and the wand in his back pocket. He refused to force her to spend anymore time in the presence of someone like him.

He made a hasty decision, one he would later regret. He couldn’t stay in the UK. There was too many bad memories. He needed a fresh start, he needed to get away from this place, this country that had done nothing to protect them. A country that had allowed children to fight a war that should have been handled by adults. 

So he ran. He ran to the gates of the school, passed the anti-apparition wards, and twisted on his heel. He was gone. No one knew where he had gone or why he had left. All they knew was that he wasn’t coming back. He had disappeared and taken Hermione’s heart with him, leaving only a short note that read ‘I’m sorry.’ What he was sorry for, Hermione would spend years trying to figure out. 

Harry had apparated to a customs checkpoint in Barcelona, where he was cleared. He decided to see the world first before he settled down somewhere quiet. He had stopped in Paris and Amsterdam. In the Netherlands, he felt a shiver. The brush of familiar magic on his skin informed him that someone was on his trail. Hermione was looking for him, he just knew it. He apparated to Paris and then back to Amsterdam, confusing the trail and hopefully throwing her off. He couldn’t face her. Harry continued on from there to Sydney, Moscow, and Kenya.

……………………………..

 

Two months after she had followed Harry from Hogwarts, she realized she had missed her period. The first month, she figured it was because of the stresses of the war. She convinced herself that she wasn’t pregnant even though, in the back of her mind, she knew. The second month she had to admit it to herself and face the truth of the situation she found herself in. She cursed herself into oblivion. How could she have been so bloody stupid? They hadn't used a contraceptive charm. A spell taught to all of them in their third year! 

She sat with her head buried in her hands, paying no attention to the beautiful view outside of her hotel room window. Amsterdam held no interest for her right now. She cried, wondering what she should do now. Should she write Harry and let him know he had a child on the way? Yes, that was the only way. If he refused to be found, she’d make sure she could at least get word to him about his child.

She sat at the small desk, forcing out thoughts she had no idea how to put into words. Harry had left her, and she could not wrap her head around that fact. What had she done wrong?  
She swore that when she found him, she’d curse him until he couldn’t stand straight. She told him how she missed him. How she wanted him back in her life. How his child needed a father.

The letter returned unopened, marked ‘Return to Sender’. He’d hidden himself and Hermione was livid. She had no choice but to do what she needed to do for herself and her unborn child. With that matter settled, she continued on with her journey, this time she went to America. She was determined to settle down and relax until the baby came and Harry got his head out of his ass. 

She had followed every lead that had cropped up about him, but all of them had led nowhere. She craved peace and quiet. A place where no one heard of the ‘Golden Trio, and if they had, they didn’t care enough to stop her in the streets. 

She never stopped following up on leads, but had resigned herself to the fact that she’d never see him again. She was sure she’d never love another man. After all, if she couldn’t have Harry, she didn’t want anyone.

When she finally got to America, she settled in Lambertville, New Jersey, a small town just on the border of Pennsylvania. She bought a small cottage nestled in the woods where her neighbors wouldn't spot any accidental magic once the child was born, which would be in 2 very short months. 

She had the nursery set up in pastel yellows and greens since she did not yet know the sex of the baby. She had decided to leave it a surprise. After all, she would love her child, regardless. 

She had bought a car as well. She had got herself hired as a teacher in a local primary school, and needed a way to get herself and her child around without resorting to magic. She was set on making sure her son or daughter would know their way around both worlds.

Here she was, twenty-three years old and an orphan. Twenty-three years old and about to be raising a child on her own because the father had decided to be a coward for the first time in his life.

On February fifteenth, nineteen-ninety-nine, three days after her due date, Hermione had given birth to a beautiful baby girl by the name of Milena Lily Potter, named for both of her grandmothers and her father. She was born eight pounds, three ounces, with the help of a witch midwife that Hermione had met purely by accident at her last doctor’s visit. She had been in labor for eight excruciating hours. 

The child had a beautiful head of thick black hair that was just starting to curl and big startling green eyes. Hermione laughed to herself. Of all the physical characteristics her daughter could inherit from them both, she got lucky enough to have both of their unruly hair.

“Well if there was ever any doubt before, there can be no question now, my love. You certainly are your father’s daughter.” Hermione said to the bundle that was currently suckling at her breast. 

It made her breath catch in her throat when Milena would look into her eyes. Those beautiful green eyes that she had missed for so long. It was a shame that those eyes could give her peace and at the same time, cause her pain. She smiled to herself, it didn’t matter. What mattered most was that there was a brand new life depending on her now. The rest, Hermione would learn to deal with. 

Nothing had changed aside from weekly visits to the local healer to make sure her daughter was progressing as she should. The baby was healthy and would be happy. She'd make sure of that. 

…………...

Harry had settled in a small muggle town called New Hope, Pennsylvania. A fitting name for his purposes. He’d lived here for five years now and even though he always felt a piece missing, the people here had welcomed him with open arms and he had built himself a life here. 

Some days, it drove him absolutely mad when he would think about everything that had been taken from him. He’d even had a few bouts of accidental magic that blew the windows out through the entire house. Harry was grateful in those moments, that his neighbors were separated from him by a small wooded area.

He sighed to himself. It had been over five years since he’d moved to here, he should be over it shouldn’t he? He had a job as head auror for MACUSA and was quickly climbing the ranks. He had begun using the name Harry Evans instead of Potter. Less chances for anyone finding him.

He had a couple of good friends, or rather, acquaintances. Harry had become very careful with who he considered a friend. After all, the last time he really had friends one had abandoned him when Harry had needed him most, while the other….well, he was sure the other wasn’t interested in seeing him.

He had tried to date a few times and it had never worked out. None of them could ever measure up to Hermione. He still held out hope that he’d see her again. It was one hope he’d never give up on, to the detriment of his own sanity. It was stupid, he knew, but it was one thing he was okay with being stupid about.

He rolled his eyes to himself and then got up to finish decorating his house for the wave of little trick or treaters that would soon attack his door. He had a reputation uphold after all. He had won best Halloween display four years in a row and he wasn’t willing to give up the title just yet. 

The lights were up, the decorations hung, the candy bought. There was graves in his front yard, mummies that rose up out of their coffins when the detectors spotted movement. There was cobwebs and spiders. Ghosts that hung eerily off of the trees around his property. He was ready for the festivities but he still had a couple of hours before the bell started ringing and little hands demanded candy. 

He decided to shower and nap before it all started. Walking up the stairs, he couldn’t wait to hit the pillow. He’d need a lot of energy to deal with the influx of little monsters running around tonight.  
…………….

“Trick or Treat, Mommy! I want to trick or treat!” Milena informed her mother in a very serious and demanding tone. 

Being the daughter of two dentists, she cringed at the idea. She absolutely detested Halloween. The amount of candy these children were allowed to eat, it was a wonder they still had teeth left in their mouths!

Sighing to herself, she knew she wouldn’t deny her daughter something every child should experience so she resigned herself to the thought that Millie was only allowed candy once a year. She had actually planned a surprise for Milena. Across the little bridge that led to the town of New Hope where Halloween was taken very seriously. She would take her daughter to experience the decorations, the premium candy, and best of all, the wonderful haunted houses created by the people who lived there. 

“Is it time yet, Mommy? Can I put on my costume?” her daughter pouted at her. 

Hermione smiled at the little girl. It didn’t matter that she had told her daughter that they’d be leaving at six that evening. No, she would have slept in that costume if her mother had allowed it. 

“It’s only four, Millie. We’re not leaving for another couple of hours. You may put it on before we leave.” Hermione laughed as the little girl rolled her eyes and huffed to herself as she walked back into the family room and sat at her little desk to continue reading ‘The History of Halloween’. Hermione had bought it for her when she started asking questions about the holiday that Hermione didn’t have answers to. 

She was so much like her mother, but she was also her father’s daughter. She was sassy, easily annoyed, and so very loving of everyone. Whether they deserved her love or not, she gave it freely. She rescued any hurt or scared animal she could find. She had brought home baby squirrels, little bird that had fallen from their nests, and a couple of stray dogs that had she had found while playing outside. Hermione always brought the animals to the local SPCA where they were healed and released back into the wild or adopted out to new families.

The thought knocked Hermione back for a second. The guilt of keeping her daughter a secret from her father ate away at her. Sometimes it would suck the breath out of her lungs. She shook herself out of it. It was too late to do anything about it now, almost six years later. 

At five forty-five, Hermione buckled her daughter into her car seat, the wings of her baby dragon costume on the seat beside her. They drove off and within fifteen minutes were parking the car on Deer Path Road. From there, they could walk around the beautifully decorated houses, collecting candy. 

…………………………..

Harry smiled as the doorbell rang for the first time that night. Opening the door, he found himself face to face with a small witch, a dracula, and a queen of hearts. 

“Trick or Treat, Mr. Evans!” the little Dracula yelled. Harry recognized the voice of Ethan, the son of his neighbor two doors down.

“Oh no! Are you going to suck my blood if I don’t give up the candy?” Harry cried. The little boy giggled and all three of them held out their bags for the candy. 

He took three handfuls and dumped one into each bag. They ran back to their parents, waiting at the foot of the porch screaming their thank you’s as they ran. Harry waved to the parents and decided to leave the door open, using only the screen to keep the moths out.

The doorbell rang again not two minutes later, and he walked over to open the screen when he saw the most beautiful little dragon he’d ever seen. His eyes met a pair that looked too much like his own. He could only see the little girl’s face, but what he saw almost made it hard to breathe. She had a lightly freckled, button nose, olive skin, and startling emerald green eyes. If he had ever had a daughter with Hermione, this was exactly how he imagined she would look. His mouth dropped open. All thoughts of Halloween, candy, and trick-or-treaters flew out of his head. 

“Um...Trick or Treat?” The little girl asked, confused. She couldn’t understand why this man was staring at her like that. Did he not like her dragon costume?

Mentally, Harry shook himself and glanced around, looking for any sign of the little girl’s parents. There, down at the first step to his porch, he spotted her mother. His eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted dead away.  
…………………….

“Mommy! I killed him! I’m too scary! I didn’t even get any candy before he died!” Millie wailed.

Hermione was watching as the man stared at her daughter for an uncomfortably long time. She couldn’t see his face as it was obscured by the shadows of the porch and his screen door did little to focus his face. 

Running up the stairs,  
Hermione felt the blood drain from her face as the light hit on the lightning bolt scar on the man’s forehead, the familiarly disheveled hair, and the round glasses that he had never bothered to update. Her heart started to beat a thousand miles a minute. She grabbed her daughter and pulled her into the house, quickly slamming the door so no one would see the prone body. Pulling out her wand, Hermione levitated him to the couch in his sitting room and then turned to her daughter.

“Millie, I need to you to listen to mommy okay?” Hermione asked in the calmest tone she could manage, which wasn’t very calm at all.

The little girl nodded. Hermione grabbed a handful of candy and her daughters book, walked her to the kitchen island, sat her down, and told her to stay there while she talked to the nice man. She assured her daughter that she had not in fact frightened the man to death, only surprised him, that he would wake up shortly. Millie nodded and opened her book, contenting herself with the fact that this was grown up business and grownup business was always boring.

Hermione walked over to the couch with her heart in her throat. Approaching a moment she had convinced herself would never happen, she pointed her wand at Harry and mentally prepared herself for the conversation she had been waiting too long to have.  
“Enervate,” she whispered as her wand shook in her hand. 

Harry groaned and sat up rubbing the back of his head where it had bounced off of the hardwood floor. 

“What the hell happened?” he asked as he rubbed at his eyes. He hadn't looked at her yet.  
“Language, Harry.” Her voice was hard and full of anger. He knew that voice. He'd never forget it. Harry’s whole body stiffened. He was afraid to look up, afraid that this whole thing was a result of a concussion.

The last few minutes began to flood back to him. A beautiful little girl dressed as a dragon. Green eyes just like his. She looked to be about four or five. Just the right age, he thought, if… Hermione standing right behind her. It all fell into place as he realised exactly what he had done and who he had left behind.

He shot up off the couch not noticing that Hermione was sitting on his coffee table peering over at him. He got up so fast that he knocked his head into Hermione’s chin causing her to bite down on her tongue as he gave himself yet another knock to the head. 

“OW! What the hell?!” he yelped as blood started to fill her mouth. Hermione clutched at her mouth and pointed her wand first at herself, healing the cut and then at Harry, healing the double knots on his head. 

“You have some nerve! What the hell? Yes, actually. What the hell, Harry? What the hell happened to you? What the hell are you doing here? Where the hell have you been? And how the hell could you leave me like that?!” Her voice grew louder with each question, and she ended up shrieking the last one. 

Years of worry, years of missing him, years of wondering what she had done wrong came flooding out of her in a wave of barely suppressed rage. She was barely keeping it together.

With every question hurled at her, Harry took a step back. She had every right to be angry at him. The way he had left her behind had been terrible. It still shamed him, more so now that he realised the severity of what he’d done.

The fact was he had never bothered to reach out, to at least let her know he was okay. Yes, she had every right to be angry with him and that was without the fact that he had changed his name and cloaked himself from all correspondence from Britain, causing him to be absent for the first five years of his daughter's life. They hadn't even gotten to that beautiful little detail yet. 

As if she sensed her father's thoughts, Milena whimpered. Her huge eyes full of worry at her mother yelling at the strange man.

Harry's head whipped to the left where the sound had come from. Looking at the little girl for a few minutes as he studied her now exposed black curls. There was no doubt in his mind. He knew exactly who the child was. 

His disappointment and anger at himself was close to exploding out of him now. He could not allow that to happen for the child's sake. He could not allow himself to have another bout of accidental magic. He did not want his daughter afraid of him. 

He looked over at Hermione, his eyes conveying the apology, knowing it would never be enough. She raised an eyebrow her eyes narrowed. Knowing that he'd be facing it all today, he decided to put it off for just a little bit longer. Harry walked over to the little girl and knelt in front of her. 

“Hello, my name is Harry Potter. What's yours?” he asked her. He held out his hand for the little girl to shake, trying to force the tremor from his voice. 

“ That's my name too! Milena Lily Potter!” the little girl said excitedly. She grabbed his hand and shook it hard, a wide smile on her adorable little face. “Are we related?” She asked in a hopeful tone.

Harry chuckled. Boy was he ever glad that she had inherited her mother’s mind. She was quick to put the clues in order. This was a conversation, however, that they should have with her together later so he skirted the question. 

“Milena Lily, huh? Named after the two strongest women I've ever known. Fitting, I think.” he smiled as the little girl beamed up at him. 

“I'm named after two of my grandmother's! Mommy says they made it so that I could grow up in a safe and happy world and that's why they’re not around. She said my daddy gave a lot for that as well.” she smiled again and went back to her book effectively ending the conversation. He looked at the title and smiled to himself. So she was absolutely her mother's daughter. 

Turning back to Hermione who had seated herself on his couch, his smile faded and his brows furrowed. He was mentally preparing himself for what was to come. She pointed her wand at the kitchen and cast a Silencing charm. It wouldn't do for her daughter to overhear the reason she'd never known her father. Harry was secretly thankful, he couldn't bear to have his daughter hate him. It was enough that Hermione very obviously did. 

Harry was struck by the fact that she hadn't changed at all. He could still tell what she was thinking. He knew she was working herself up to a frenzy at the situation Harry had forced them into. He could see it plain as day: the way she clenched her hands, the way her jaw flexed as she ground her teeth. She was preparing to tear him apart. Harry was a dead man.

He sat down on the same couch she was sitting on. He tried to get close to her, but she moved as far away as she could without standing up. With one word, she started the conversation he had dreaded having. He would have it, however. He refused to cower from it. 

“Explain.” It was all she said. She refused to give him any type of safety net. As far as she was concerned, he didn't deserve one. 

Her tone was icy and it sent a chill down his spine. He had heard it before, many times, but never directed at him. His hands shook as he began. 

“I guess I should start at the beginning. You see, when I woke up that afternoon, after we… You know.” he blushed and looked down at her hands in her lap. Stupid! He was a grown man, yet here he sat blushing when talking about sex. 

“You looked so peaceful. More so than I'd ever seen you and all I could think was that I had taken advantage of you when you were weak. I was no better than a Death Eater. Really what difference is there between rape and having sex with a woman who had just had a panic attack? I cared for you so much, but I couldn’t bear to look at you because all I could see was what I had done.” He paused to take a breath and gather his thoughts.

The longer he talked the angrier she got. Her breathing was coming in short spurts by the end of his speech.  
took advantage of  
, did he?

“How dare you?” Her voice shook. “How dare you presume to know how I felt, when you never even asked?! Did you really think that I just assumed that all you wanted was a quick shag? I was in love with you, you insufferable child! You would have known how I felt, what I wanted, had you bothered to open your mouth and ask.” By now her face was red and her tone was deadly, venomous.

Another five years of what could have been his life flashed through his mind. Birthdays and first steps, first words, the love of the only woman he’d ever wanted. It was all stolen from him by his own stupidity.

She was crying now. The tears flowing freely down her cheeks. He had massively buggered everything and in doing so had robbed not just himself and Hermione, but their daughter as well. With that thought, he buried his face in his hands and groaned, trying as hard as he could to keep the tears at bay.

Hermione was there, as she always had been. In all her anger, she still wrapped her arms around him like he did for her that day in the supply closet. The day that had thrown both of their worlds off kilter. She still held him through the shaking and the helplessness. It gave him a sliver of hope maybe he hadn’t destroyed everything. 

Once he’d calmed down, he glanced over to the kitchen to find Milena slumped over her book, her little face covered in chocolate as she slept on, surrounded by chocolate wrappers. She was oblivious to the storm in the next room. Harry let loose a manic little giggle drawing Hermione's eyes to the cause. It was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. 

“Do you mind if I lay her down in the guest room? She’ll be more comfortable there.” He asked her. His voice shook, knowing that Hermione was probably still livid with him.

Hermione nodded to him. Regardless of her feeling towards him at the moment, he was still Milena’s father. Harry got up and walked over to his daughter, waving his wand along the way to clean the mess off of her face. He reached out and picked her up almost melting when she sleepily wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. 

Smiling the whole time, he walked passed Hermione and up the stairs to lay the child in his guest bedroom. It would shortly be converted into her very own bedroom anyway. He already had the plans floating around in his head.

When he came back down Hermione was no longer angry. Instead she sat with her back straight and faced him. There was a steely determination in her eyes. He had to suppress a smile. He knew what that look meant and he was ready for the fight. He almost craved it after all of these years. Unfortunately, he wouldn't be getting any sort of fight tonight. 

She had spent the few minutes she had alone to process her thoughts and whip them back into order. She would not, could not leave without laying this to rest. She had to settle this once and for all, if he expected to be in his daughter's life. She was a Gryffindor, damn it. She’d be damned if she allowed herself to mince words.

“I owe you an apology, Hermione. I owe our daughter in apology. I thought I knew how you felt. I convinced myself that it was true, that you  
to hate me after that morning. I couldn’t face you. Hell, I couldn’t even face myself! I did the only thing that made sense at the time. I left and I made sure you never had to look at me either. I’m an idiot.” He sighed as he hid his face in his hands. 

Hermione smiled slightly. She really couldn’t stay mad at him. Especially when his reasons were so very… Harry. They had bigger mountains to climb anyway, like how she was supposed to tell her daughter that her father was right here.

“I can’t give you back the last five years, Harry.” Her voice was soft, but determined. “However, I can promise you all the rest of them. Milena always knew about you. She knows you’re a hero. She knows I love you more than anything, aside from her. She knows you’re infuriatingly noble. She knows everything but your name.” Hermione was looking at her hands again. She didn’t see the lone tear slip down his cheek. 

Harry heard her say she still loved him. It wasn’t in the past tense. He smiled to himself. The relief was palpable. He hadn’t lost everything. 

Reaching out, he lifted her chin so that she could meet his eyes before he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. He then kissed her with so much passion that it stilled her mind and wiped away everything except the feeling of his lips.

She grabbed his face, preventing him from moving away from her. Wrapping his arms around her waist Harry pulled her so that she was straddling him. 

She sucked his bottom lip into her mouth coaxing a growl from him as his hands slipped inside of her leggings to cup her bare ass. She moaned and ground herself against the hardness that had grown between her legs.  
"Thank Merlin for sweat pants", she thought to herself..

He was so hard, it was starting to become painful. He could feel her heat through both of their pants and it was doing little to help ease the throbbing he was currently experiencing. 

When she started to grind against him, he moved his hands to slide up under her sweater and along her rib cage. He was pleasantly surprised to find that Hermione did not believe in underwear. She wasn’t wearing a bra. 

Their tongues were dancing together, spurring her to grind herself harder, searching for release. He hated to break the kiss, but he needed to see her. Pulling the shirt up, she raised her arms to help him. Harry wasted no time in pulling her right nipple into his mouth while his right hand played with the left. Her rhythm was becoming hectic now, she was close. So was he, for that matter, but he would wait. 

Hermione's moans were filling up the room now. Her face was flushed and her eyes bright and unfocused as Harry bit down on her nipple and then rolled his tongue around it. 

Deciding she'd had enough, he let go of her nipple with a pop and then traced his tongue all the way up to her lips. He forced his way in to her mouth and began the dance anew. That was when she had lost it. She arched her back as her head was thrown back. The only thing keeping her from falling off the couch was Harry’s arms. 

“Oh...yes! Harry! That's perfect.” She moaned. She moved sit up and wrap her arms around him. Her breath hot in his ear as she panted. 

She missed his cocky smile, but he was fine with that. He wasn’t done yet. He flipped her over to sit on the couch and slid down to kneel in front of her. He kept eye contact with her as he slowly pulled the leggings down and off. 

When she was fully naked, he traced his hands from her hips and down her thighs. His fingers brushed over her soaked center, down to her knees where he pulled them apart to reveal the grand prize. It was exquisite. It was everything he'd been praying for, for five years. 

She was bare except for a small patch just above her clit. It was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Harry’s mouth began to water. He pulled her down so that her ass was level against the edge of the couch. He positioned her so that he could rest her legs on his shoulders and without further ado, he buried his face in her. She tasted divine, like the forbidden fruit he’d imagined her to be. 

He rolled his tongue in slow lazy circles, working her back into a frenzy. He chuckled as her hands fisted in his hair. It was almost painful, in a very delicious sort of way. He picked up the pace, this time applying more pressure with his tongue. She came hard and fast against his mouth, causing her legs to shake against his ears. He licked her juices while she came down off of the high.

Harry was caught by surprise when she yanked him up onto the couch and took the position he had held moments before. She wasn’t slow or patient. She was eager to bring him to the same moaning mess he had reduced her to. 

His pants were off before he could blink. His erection popped up, as if he were proud to be on display. Hermione's eyes turned predatory. She had never had an opportunity to really pay attention to what Harry looked like naked. 

He was beautiful. Lean and muscular from years of quidditch. It was obvious he still kept in shape, but what caught her full attention was that beautiful, hard cock. 

She reached out to grip it. Slowly, almost torturously, she stroked him, lessening the throbbing but making his need that much stronger. His head was thrown back against the couch as he hissed his pleasure. 

She smirked at the sounds he was making. It was the sexiest thing she'd ever heard and she hadn't even taken him in her mouth yet. Slowly, she ran her tongue from the bottom to the very tip of his cock. He groaned as she wrapped her lips around the tip and almost swallowed him up. Harry could feel the back of her throat and it took every ounce of control he had to not unload right there. 

“Fuck, Hermione. I need you now! ” He reached down and tugged her up to straddle him once again. Only this time they were naked and his erection was straining against her soaking wet slit. 

That was the breaking point for her. She slammed herself down on him causing both of their eyes to roll back in their heads. Hermione had never felt so full and complete in all of her life. It was a magical feeling.

Harry was having trouble forming a coherent thought as she tightened around him before pulling up and slamming back down over and over again. He knew he wouldn’t be able to put off his orgasm much longer. It had been far too long since he experienced the love of a woman and the fact that it was Hermione… well, let’s just say he was lucky to have lasted as long as he did.

Hermione tightened around him, her own orgasm was fast approaching, lucky number three. Harry grabbed her hips to control the rhythm as she tightened one final time before she screamed out his name. He was right behind her shooting his cum deep inside of her. She felt him throbbing and released a giggle. They had forgotten the contraceptive charm again.

“What’s so funny?” Harry asked as he came down off of the high of the orgasm. She fully laughed now.

“We forgot the charm again.” She said as her eyes started filling with tears from the laughter and absurdity of this entire situation. This whole thing felt like some cosmic joke.

“Well, I’ve always wanted a big family.” Harry said, a huge grin forming on his face.

She couldn't believe that she was here. That Harry was here. After five years of looking for him, she had gone and found him purely by accident. Sure, she was still angry but that would fade. They'd get past it, she knew. They had a future now, a real one and really that was all that was important.


End file.
